module 3: the stepmother in the night
Posted: 2010-04-01 11:22:39
And then the Core Ritual came. Going into the night to face the inner stepmother. I felt both peace and a longing to meet my soul in the night and to discover more about her.my intention was to merge with the night and all her beings.
I knew I wanted to sit on a high hill but once there doubts came. the inner restlessness and voices got stonger and stronger untill I just couldn"t sit still anymore.
I turned towards the North, to find the place of stillness. I felt strong reactiong in my body. i lay down on the earth. My whole body was aligve. I felt a deep pain in my heart. I turned towards the West and asked help to face this pain. I was able to stay with it. The insight came that it had to do with my fear that nobody would want my love. The pain was searing but gradually it became more mild. I turned towards the south. a genlte sense or f healing came though me. I might name it as: my love is OK as it is. Everybody wants my love. but not everyone is ready to receive it. It is a universal love. a smell of wild animals was suddenly around me. I did not see it but knew an animal must have been close. I relaxed.
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