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Diary retreat 4: Mother Earth

Posted: 2009-05-25 16:30:47

Finally after weeks of deep intensity, the time for our Block 4 came. My whole being had been waiting for this meeting to share with other women, with whom we have started a path together, leading in different directions but still similar in something, which is as mysterious, powerful, changeable and divine as the Goddess herself.

The time in between the blocks was long, with the longest nights and dreams in the year. The mid winter solstice was in between. For the first time a clear revelation and experience came to me; I've found the roots and the legacy of my ancestors that I came looking for in Europe; the meaning of the cycle of the year. I experienced the transformation that occurred in the land and in my soul after a whole year living in the north. The year and the processes in my life felt meaningful and part of a bigger cycle. Stronger than before I felt that I was in my path where birth/growth/blooming/dead/rebirth take place, and are part of the whole. I experienced beauty and reconnection with the mother Earth. Also the moon had a strong significance for me in this period. Shines, doubts and fears were washed away by the deep realization of my womanhood and of the gift to share and celebrate the faces of the moon with other women in order to be able to grow together.

This Block in particular took place during the first quarter of the waxing moon. The days where as clear as ever, and the dark nights hosted an amazing story of stars which filled up the sky. She was in the horizon, the moon, the Goddess, shining in a unique golden dress. Near by her was a powerful and clear star that accompanied her and us in our night walk through the forest. It was one of those nights where I could feel the presence of Her guiding my way, being with me in my journey, and sharing her beauty and magic with us all. I could trust.

I felt cherished and this Block let me experience that once I get connected with that source I can hardly feel alone and empty. In this state the surroundings have a deeper meaning, there is wisdom everywhere, there is a symbiosis, trees become sacred, the earth is nourishing, the moon light becomes a manifestation of the divine, and I am part of it.

I meet my guardians and some of my spirit guides during this block. The natural world spoke to me as clear as ever before. It was not possible to hide it anymore. I had to face my fears, my ghosts. I met nature, and she spoke to me. A Buizerd (a broad-winged soaring hawk was the English translation that I found) flew right on top of our circle when I was in the middle of it, praying and calling for an omen. He knew me, he knew that I needed a sign, that I needed company, he knew everything. Tears emerged from deep within me, and then I knew; nature was praying and waiting for me, my guardians were there showing me that I was not alone that I could trust to go deeper in my journey...

And when I need it, I know that I can always sing and pray:

Oh why, why worry when you can pray (x2)
So I pray to the most high, pray to the mother and the father,
I pray to the most high, pray for them to watch over us.(x2)

These are times of change, in me and around me. For me it feels like a transition from the north to the east, where the spring is starting. I can observe it now and appreciate this unique and magnificent process.

Diary blok 4
By Violeta, age 23 , healer and gardener, born in Argentinia